Information
Name: Procedure 110-Overkill
Author: daveyoufool
Rating: 754/856
Created at: Sat May 09 2015
Item #: SCP-100000-J
Object Class: Keter Keterer Keterest
Special Containment Procedures
A single culture of SCP-100000-J is to be set in a petri dish in a hermetically sealed, lead-lined titanium1 sarcophagus filled with acid. The sarcophagus must be set in a hermetically sealed outer sarcophagus filled with no more and no less than 50 copies each of the following religious scriptures:
The outer sarcophagus must, at all times, receive broadcasts from four loudspeakers of at least two members of the O5 council giving live monologues of how awful SCP-100000-J is and why it will never, ever escape, destroy humanity, or find true love.
This area must be sealed in a hermetically sealed outer-outer sarcophagus, which is then placed 5km underground, separated from the surface by 5km of solid concrete blended with the ground bones of saints.
Area-100000-J has been established as a 100km radius on the surface above SCP-100000-J. The fence on the perimeter of Area-100000-J is to be electrified, irradiated, and equipped with autoturrets with mounted .900-caliber railguns. The gate to Area-100000-J is to be guarded by one 500kg, 3m tall ogre equipped with one 300kg, 5m tall battle-axe. The ogre must be completely deaf, by surgical means if necessary. All personnel requesting entry to Area-100000-J must answer correctly the ogre's three impossible riddles, each of which are lethal auditory cognitohazards.
Any civilians, non-O5 Foundation personnel, animals, plants, or microbes that have entered Area-100000-J are to be subjected to termination protocol 30-Übertöten.
TP 30-Übertöten is to carried out as follows:
Any containment breach of SCP-100000-J can only be counteracted by activation of all seven of the O5 council's instant supermassive black hole generators. This will result in an XK-class end-of-the-world scenario, but failure to do so will allow SCP-100000-J to cause an █K-class "Dance of a Thousand [DATA EXPUNGED]" scenario.
Any and all information about SCP-100000-J is restricted to level 4 personnel or above. As a result, the author of this page is to be termiwait what the fuck guys I thought HEY JESUS FUCK OFF WHAT
Description
SCP-100000-J is an indestructible, sentient, sapient, hostile bacterium2. Its diet consists of souls, dreams, emotions other than sadness and fear, and small children's imaginary friends. Cultivation of SCP-100000-J on substrates composed of finely ground shattered hopes and broken dreams was exceptionally successful.
It reproduces asexually and is capable of infecting a populated area of 50 square km every nanosecond. Infected organisms will die, rejuvenate, [DATA EXPUNGED], die again, then explode.
SCP-100000-J is capable of speech, but speaks a language entirely composed of lethal cognitohazards, with no equivalent phrase for "please," "thank you," or "I'm sorry." It has also made disparaging remarks about the Area-100000-J Site Director's mother, which caused the Site Director's mother to die, rejuvenate, [DATA EXPUNGED], die again, then explode.