SCP-4526 : I'm Her Union Rep, Jimmy No-Last-Name
Information
Name: I'm Her Union Rep, Jimmy No-Last-Name
Author: Erazm
Rating: 80/96
Created at: Fri Dec 20 2019
Item #: SCP-4526
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures
Earliest known photograph of SCP-4526, circa 1912.
SCP-4526 is essentially self-containing and does not pose a security risk because of its exclusive manifestation within Foundation sites. All appearances of SCP-4526 should be reported to SCP-4526 Research Director Donnelly and the Foundation Researcher's Union SCP-4526 Liaison. The SCP-4526 Research Director is tasked with documenting all SCP-4526 manifestations and adding all manifested items to the Standard Storage Room in Site-57.
Description
SCP-4526 is an entity that manifests in approximately 2% of grievance adjudications between employees and managerial staff at the Foundation.1 SCP-4526 resembles a humanoid male, 1.57 m (5'2") in height. It is seemingly Caucasian, between 50 and 60 years of age, has a stocky build and male-pattern baldness. It identifies itself as "Jimmy, no last name."
SCP-4526 will manifest in close proximity2 of the room on Foundation property where grievance adjudications are occurring. It will walk into the room, claim to be the employee's union representative, and demand a favorable decision for its "client." Successful attempts to physically restrain SCP-4526 causes it to demanifest, then reappear outside of the adjudication room, repeating the process.
SCP-4526 has proven impervious to gunshots, stabbing, blunt force trauma, conceptual jamming, metaphorical dissolution, and other comparable physical and pataphysical assaults. In all observed circumstances, it continues to voice support for its "client" in any state of injury or disassembly.
Thus far, employees "represented" by SCP-4526 have experienced a 100% success rate at these adjudications, with all winning favorable judgments. SCP-4526 does not appear to have any anomalous compulsory effect over Foundation Administrative Judges.3 Rather, SCP-4526 succeeds in proving its case by making reference to information that should be impossible to obtain.
SCP-4526 has been able to produce visual and auditory evidence, including video recordings within Foundation facilities. People targeted by these recordings do not report being aware of anyone filming their activities; in all cases, the evidence demonstrates misconduct or violations of Foundation policy. Destruction of these items prior to conclusion of the adjudication invariably leads to SCP-4526 producing an identical copy. Research into the physical evidence produced by SCP-4526 has thus far found them not to be cognitohazardous or anomalous in any respect.
The actual union representatives who were to attend these meetings report no knowledge of these events. Representatives generally claim to have gotten lost on their way to the adjudication, or to have simply forgotten that it was scheduled for that day.
Appendix: Abbreviated SCP-4526 Manifestation Log
For access to the full SCP-4526 manifestation log, contact Research Director Donnelly at Site-57.
Addendum — 05/16/2013
Researchers have been able to engage in conversation with SCP-4526 during its appearances at adjudications. SCP-4526 refuses to talk to Foundation personnel that it perceives as being a part of or aligned with managerial staff. In these conversations, SCP-4526 has expressed familiarity with a number of other anomalies, showing a special affinity for SCP-10175 and SCP-10066. As the best available avenue for understanding SCP-4526, investigation into possible connections between these anomalies is still underway.
Note
The following message is only accessible by high-clearance personnel.
Dear Senior Personnel,
The researchers are, quite frankly, pursuing what they know to be a dead end with this "investigating the connections" nonsense. It's hard to maintain professionalism after a certain point when dealing with this farce.
Why do you think progress on neutralization has been so slow?
SCP-4526 should be considered extremely dangerous. It is an anomalous entity that has found a way to ensure its freedom and self-preservation by ingratiating itself with the very people who should be tasked with containing it.
Let me be clear: this anomaly is bent on sowing chaos within the Foundation and bending our affairs to its will. In any other situation, this conversation would be unnecessary. We cannot allow it to just roam our sites, collect an unbelievable amount of sensitive information, and do God-knows-what when we can't see it.
We considered using countermemes to come up with an "evil twin" that would manifest just as often to support our side at the hearings, thus allowing for at least some equilibrium. Still, at the end of testing, we could not guarantee that we wouldn't just get another version of this short fuck who showed up 98% of the time. So, no, this is not a route we are interested in further exploring at this time.
Continue to encourage neutralization, regardless of what the researchers have put on this page.
Sincerely,
Labor Relations Specialist ███████
Addendum — 06/13/2013
Further investigation into SCP-4526 has raised the possibility that some of the materials it produces during adjudications may later come to possess a cognitohazardous effect that scales in proportion to an individual's level of responsibility within the Foundation. While not dangerous during adjudication, later investigation of the material may produce symptoms that include headaches, confusion, decreased decision-making abilities, lowered inhibitions, risk-seeking behavior, and sudden death. In order to quarantine this effect, handling of these materials is restricted to lower-level personnel who do not have "managerial" responsibilities.
WARNING
The following file includes samples of SCP-4526 material that carry the potentially lethal effects, and is only accessible by low-clearance personnel. High-clearance personnel who require access to sanitized copies of the material should contact the Research Director.
Dear Researcher,
Don't worry about the above. You shouldn't be able to read the upper-level addendum, so trust me when I say that management's attitude towards this particular skip is a little more than hypocritical.
Magic pills, the fountain of youth…we've all heard the rumors, most of them bunk. But as usual, there's a kernel of truth at the bottom of it all: the O5 uses some anomalies to their own benefit. It's the worst-kept secret in Foundation history. This isn't to criticize them for doing so—after all, we've all got an important job here. Our world can be dark and scary. It's only fair to want to take advantage of the weirdness that makes life a little easier, a little lighter. Something that makes the world have a little more justice.
Just so you know, we probably could kill Jimmy-no-last-name. But the bosses forget, as soon as an anomaly presents them with a minor inconvenience at work, that we're not here to destroy every unusual thing that we can't understand.
We secure, we contain, and we protect. And sometimes, those things protect us back.
Solidarity,
Research Director Elizabeth A. Donnelly
Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License.