SCP-5195 : Trick Shot

SCP-5195 is an early 17th century baroque globe produced in Vienna by an unknown craftsman. When acted upon with sufficient force or energy, this force (scaled up) occurs in a region of earth corresponding to the same point on the globe. This effect extends an undetermined distance out from the globe's surface.

SCP-5195 was purchased in 2008 by Joshua Zayne, an American tech-investor. In 2010 — after losing his fortune in online trading — Mr. Zayne extorted several competitors by jamming satellites with directed radio signals aimed at SCP-5195. He used a similar technique to broadcast anonymous demands across these satellites.

On March 11, 2011, a Foundation agent contacted Mr. Zayne (at the time known only by his moniker, 'MysterDeez') via an anonymous chatroom:

CHAT LOG

XIAOSHAN: MysterDeez?

MYSTERDEEZ: Yo.

XIAOSHAN: I am contacting you on behalf of my organization to ask that you cease all action pertaining to the disruption of communication satellites immediately.

XIAOSHAN: You have not only damaged commercial interests, but the interests of numerous global agencies. Agencies that rely on these satellites to save lives.

XIAOSHAN: Turn yourself in, and I promise you clemency for all illegal activities you have committed up to this point.

XIAOSHAN: We know what you're doing, and we know how you're doing it. This is your one and only opportunity to walk away.

MYSTERDEEZ: lol.

MYSTERDEEZ: Y'know, I was initially a little worried someone would be smart enough to figure this out. Thanks for confirming that I've got nothing to worry about, shit-for-brains.

MYSTERDEEZ: You wouldn't be contacting me like this if you had even the SLIGHTEST clue of who or where I am.

MYSTERDEEZ: And no, you've got no idea what I'm doing or how I'm doing it. I've got the whole world in the palm of my hand. Literally.

MYSTERDEEZ: Here. Lemme show you what I can do with just my pinkie.

In 2012, Mr. Zayne demanded a ransom of several million dollars in the form of bitcoins. In exchange, he would refrain from "turning Taiwan into a finger-shaped smudge".

The following exchange occurred on February 2nd, 2012:

CHAT LOG

MYSTERDEEZ: You got my money, shit-for-brains?

XIAOSHAN: You're right. We don't know who or where you are.

XIAOSHAN: As for how you're doing this… well, some of our labcoats have a hunch. But that's all we've got: A hunch.

MYSTERDEEZ: This going somewhere? You got my money, or should I show you what I can do with my thumb?

XIAOSHAN: A hunch, some fancy math — and the resources to measure the angle of contact from the world's biggest underwater fingerprint.

MYSTERDEEZ: lol. Wut?

XIAOSHAN: Well, that, and the world's biggest directed energy cannon, pointed at the world's biggest orbital reflector dish, aimed at one precise spot far out in deep space.

MYSTERDEEZ: wtf??///

MYSTERDEEZ: ///;nisehro;hnvo;zgrj

MYSTERDEEZ: ;;;;;;;;;;;;;'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

MYSTERDEEZ: '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

MYSTERDEEZ: '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

MYSTERDEEZ: '''''''''''''

MYSTERDEEZ: '

XIAOSHAN: 360 noscope, shithead.

Mr. Zayne (killed via a brain aneurysm triggered by the beam) was found nearby.