Information
Name: Spare a Hair?
Author: hungrypossum
Rating: 66/74
Created at: Sat Oct 30 2021
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Special Containment Procedures
Foundation personnel embedded in public health institutions should report any increase in alopecia1 and hypertrichosis2 cases. Patients confirmed to have accepted SCP-5754's offer will be taken into Foundation custody under the pretext of an exotic viral infection, and contained in a Standard Humanoid Containment Chamber until expiration.
A media campaign portraying traveling salespersons and their products as unreliable and dishonest is currently being disseminated.
Description
SCP-5754 is a humanoid entity of varying appearance, posing as a door-to-door salesperson. The entity will randomly manifest in front of homes, preponderently in the USA, Canada, and western Europe. The only commonalities between manifestations are its formal attire and a complete lack of visible hair.
When a person (further referred to as "the client") answers the door, SCP-5754 will start a sales pitch for an object, emotion or concept the client intensely desires. After the sales pitch concludes, SCP-5754 will materialize a contract and a pen from its coat's inner pocket, and will present the client with a weekly subscription fee; said fee will always be a measure of length, normally ranging from eight to fourteen meters (or the equivalent in other measurements), however, no material is mentioned. If at any point the client expresses their disinterest concerning the product, the entity will briefly apologize for the inconvenience, and demanifest upon the client closing the door. In this case, the client will not be subject to further anomalous events.
Addendum 1
On 21/05/2013, Foundation operatives working at Appleton HealthCare System outfitted Sean Brighton, a patient undergoing Stage 2 of SCP-5754's anomalous influence, with a hidden camera and microphone under the pretext of monitoring vitals and environmental factors. Three days later, the device recorded the following event:
START LOG
Brighton is sitting on the couch, reading a magazine. Suddenly, he stands up and brings his hands to his throat, as if struggling to breathe. He runs to the bathroom and, after a minute of coughing and gagging, he expels approximately 30 cm of hair.
Brighton
What the fuck? Whe-
He starts gagging again, during which SCP-5754 is caught on camera in front of the bathroom. Subsequent video analysis shows that its suit is composed of fibers resembling human hair. Brighton starts regurgitating hair continuously, displaying difficulties in breathing.
SCP-5754
sighs I'll never get used to this. Good afternoon, Mr. Brighton! It has come to my attention that you haven't been paying the agreed upon amount, as stated in the contract. Could you please clarify this situation for me?
Brighton
ten seconds of muffled gagging
SCP-5754
Please, sir, there's no need for such hostilities. I'm just asking that you respect your end of the deal. Look, it's wri-
Brighton
violently gags
SCP-5754
Look man, I'm just trying to make ends meet here too, alright? I've gotta make a living somehow, and if all my sales end up with the client not paying, my boss is gonna chew me up and spit me out, quite literally so.
15 seconds pause. Expelled hair is mixed with Brighton's stomach's contents. Hair strands start to become visible under his left eyeball.
SCP-5754
I-I'm sorry it has come to this, but you can't just get what you bought and pay less than a third of the price. That's not how sales work.
Hair begins to come out of Brighton's nasal cavities. His eyes have popped out, and hair is pouring out of his eye sockets.
SCP-5754
You already got what you bargained for, right? You got that raise just yesterday, you even got that e-mail about some long forgotten uncle leaving you a nice inheritance, which, by the way, was a little bonus from us. I think we're being more than reasonable here, sir, so please show us the same courtesy.
10 seconds pause. Brighton stops breathing.
SCP-5754
Well, if there's no further issues, I'll be on my way. Thank you for your patronage, good sir! Have a wonderful day!
SCP-5754 demanifests. Brighton expires two minutes later due to asphyxia.
END LOG