Information
Author: TroyL
Rating: 357/437
Created at: Sat Feb 07 2015
Item #: SCP-1848
Object Class: Euclid Safe
Special Containment Procedures: [Previous Iterations Expunged]: Containment Iteration 71
Initial Proposal, 1986: Direct contact with SCP-1848 is not permitted and should not be attempted under any circumstances. SCP-1848 is to be contained in a single room containment suite in Site-19's North Wing, subsection four. It is to be heavily guarded, with no fewer than eight regularly rotating guards and a constantly shifting staff.2 While basic amenities are allowed, these requests must be made through written statements, which are then carefully analyzed before being permitted.
Revision, 1994: SCP-1848's containment team should be made up of people with low dynamic personality scores. It is paramount that SCP-1848 only be monitored by those without significant interests, hobbies, or other strong feelings about subjects. Amnestic dosing is appropriate for those who develop such interests, and rotation of staff is only necessary when amnestics are no longer a viable option.
Description: SCP-1848 currently presents as a middle-aged, Caucasian male, approximately 1.7 meters tall and 130 kilograms (the approximate height, weight, and appearance of Dr. Ellis Cartwright, the head of SCP-1848's containment team). SCP-1848 is known to change forms, but it has maintained its current form since the most recent revision of its containment procedures. During interviews with SCP-1848, it has claimed to be over a hundred different mythical and historical figures, including: Raven, Coyote, Loki, Hermes, Anansi, Saci, John F. Kennedy, and Jesus Christ. It never offers evidence to support these claims. Rather, people hearing them are simply convinced, usually through what they believe to be completely logical arguments (see Addendum SCP-1848-Interview Sample).
SCP-1848 has been in the Foundation's custody for over seventy-five years, during which time it has breached containment on 386 occasions. SCP-1848 does this by assuming the appearance of people, objects, or even locations which can be used to emotionally manipulate the viewer (see Addendum SCP-1848-Observations). Most often, SCP-1848 appears as a human being or animal from the observer's past.
In the past, actions which seemed innocuous to those observing them — giving advice to researchers about their career goals, helping fix a broken door, preparing a meal — always resulted in strongly negative outcomes, usually things which SCP-1848 found amusing or humorous (see Addendum SCP-1848-Incidents). While three people have been critically injured in these incidents, SCP-1848 does not appear to be pursuing these attempts with malicious goals. Instead, it appears to find genuine amusement in its 'pranks' and believes others do as well.
After extensive research, it was discovered that SCP-1848's abilities are directly tied to the emotional and mental states of those it encounters. By minimizing encounters, incidents have dropped off drastically. Currently, SCP-1848 has not changed forms or shifted its appearance since Dr. Cartwright's major shift in its containment procedures in 1994.
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Addendum SCP-1848: Interviews
While there are hundreds of recorded interviews with SCP-1848, only a handful are considered completely safe for observation. Far too often, SCP-1848's ability to convince people to perform tasks or open the containment chamber is conveyed to those observing it as entirely logical and sensible, even through text transcripts. The few examples retained here were chosen to educate new staff members about the dangers of non-standard communication with SCP-1848 and has a text-communication rate of less than .35%.
WARNING: Do Not Skim This Section. Read It Carefully. Before unlocking this document, please remember that a 'husticorn' does not exist and is not real. At this time, if you doubt that fact, please stop reading the document and perform research on the term. When you are convinced, please proceed.
SCP-1848 appears to Guard Alderman as, according to Alderman, a "good friend from middle school that I've not seen in years."
SCP-1848: Man, I am hungry. Are you hungry?
Guard Alderman: I could probably eat. Do you want something?
SCP-1848: I do. You know what I could go for? A big, juicy steak.
Guard Alderman: That does sound good. What sort of steak you like?
SCP-1848: Well, way back when, I preferred bison, but now, I like a husticorn.
Guard Alderman: Husticorn? Never heard of it. That some kinda cow?
SCP-1848: Oh, yeah. It's the best kind of cow. See, they make sure that the cows are happy. You know happy cows give you more milk, right?
Guard Alderman: I've heard something like that before, yeah.
SCP-1848: Well, happy cows give better meat, too.
Guard Alderman: No shit?
SCP-1848: No shit at all, my man. They're delicious.
Guard Alderman: How do they manage it?
SCP-1848: They make sure they're getting… attention.
Guard Alderman: You mean…
SCP-1848: Mhmm. Those cows are gettin' laid all day, every day.
Guard Alderman: Now I know you're fucking with me.
SCP-1848: No, no! On my honor, I am only preaching truth.
Guard Alderman: And cows getting some means their meat tastes better?
SCP-1848: It does. It genuinely does.
Guard Alderman: Hell, now I've heard everything.
SCP-1848: Oh, no. You've not heard the craziest part.
Guard Alderman: Crazier than well-fucked cows being the best meat?
SCP-1848: Even crazier.
Guard Alderman: And what's that?
SCP-1848: It's the farmers… what are doin' the damned fuckin'!
Guard Alderman: What? Why the hell would they do that?
SCP-1848: Well, they originally had the bulls doing it, but they got worn out. Couldn't keep up with it. So the farmers had to start going out to the pasture to pleasure the lady cows.
Guard Alderman:
You're full of it. SCP-1848: No, no, no. I swear. Every word of it is true.
Guard Alderman: Every word of it is true?
SCP-1848: Every word.
Guard Alderman: So you're telling me I should go diddle a cow for the best steak?
SCP-1848: Well, you don't have to do the whole cow. Just part of the cow will do it.
Guard Alderman: What?
SCP-1848: Yeaaah. That's what the farmers figured out. They figured out that they could just hump a cow's flanks or anywhere they wanted to taste good, and it would work.
Guard Alderman:
SCP-1848: I promise you. I promise you to this day, there are farms out there, husticorn farmers, who are grinding the nasty on their cows.
Guard Alderman:
And that works with any part of the cow? SCP-1848: Any part. Best steak you ever had.
Guard Alderman:
Guard Alderman was relieved of duty on a regular round change five minutes later. The next day, he was found in the Site-19 kitchen, pressing raw meat against his genitals. When approached by site security, he explained to them what he was doing and why, at which point, seven other members of site staff proceeded to do the same. It was not until a vigorous search of databases concluded that "husticorns" did not exist that those in question ceased preparing their meals in this way.
WARNING: Do Not Skim This Section. Read It Carefully. Before unlocking the following document, please review Foundation procedures. It is not necessary, anywhere in the procedural documents, to urinate in your pants, nor have any of those facts been expunged. At no point will this be necessary. Once you are certain that it is not necessary for you to do so, please proceed.
Unlock Document [DOCUMENT REMOVED DUE TO REPEATED INCIDENTS]
Addendum SCP-1848: Observations
What follows is a short list of the various forms into which SCP-1848 has changed. Please remember that SCP-1848 fully possesses the ability to change into a seemingly limitless number of forms, even though it currently does not. Do not underestimate its ability to trick, fool, or obfuscate the truth.
Addendum SCP-1848: Incidents
These collected incidents are attempts to explain SCP-1848's "sense of humor". Most of these incidents were resolved without major problems.
Do Not Proceed without Level Five Clearance
To: O5 Council
From: O5-10
Subject: SCP-1848 Containment
Date: April 7, 1994SCP-1848 appears to have taken the bait. Dr. Cartwright entered the containment chamber in March, and the SCP-1848 entity emerged, appearing to look like Dr. Cartwright. Once SCP-1848 emerged, he went to Dr. Cartwright's office and finished his paperwork, then sent out a number of emails to Cartwright's staff, either commending or criticizing their responses to a number of recent situations, even going so far as to update its own file with the new containment procedures.
SCP-1848 was later seen eating food at the mess hall, carrying on innocuous conversations with other staff members, and doing Cartwright's job, believing that he's tricked the doctor into taking his place. Currently, SCP-1848 has suggested several prompt and useful responses to problematic SCPs, including SCP-███ and SCP-1552, raised his department's productivity by 12%, and seems to be enjoying his latest 'joke.'
Seems we've finally attained containment.
To: O5 Council
From: O5-7
Subject: RE: SCP-1848 Containment
Date: April 7, 1994Sounds acceptable.
To: O5 Council
From: O5-4
Subject: RE: RE: SCP-1848 Containment
Date: April 7, 1994This seems like a good use of an otherwise dangerous object. Heartily approve.
To: O5 Council
From: O5-9
Subject: RE: RE: RE: SCP-1848 Containment
Date: April 8, 1994Makes perfect sense. Good job.
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Or we're just willing to let you think that.